I am not young. I am not old. And I do not even feel middle-aged anymore. What I do know is that I have quite a few years under my belt.

The blessings of my life have been as a wife, mother, daughter, and now an Oma! I loved college education and completed my post-graduate degree sometime after I married. I’ve worked more than I haven’t, from a high-stress job to low-stress to virtually no stress, full-time and part-time. I have had great bosses. I have had rough bosses.

I never thought I would find a man who gets me, but my husband gets me. My parents are so gracious to be with me every step of the way. I spent 22 years homeschooling our children. The one thing about taking your children out of a group-think environment is that they do not group-think, which I prefer, but at times is challenging to manage. I felt I graduated again when they graduated from high school, and the biggest test for me was when they headed off to college. True confessions, I was nervous, hoping I had done my job.

Like all college students, they had to battle through the assignments, testing, and papers. Then when they graduated from college, I felt like I had graduated again. And I am happy to say that despite going through the university system, they still came out as critical-thinking millennials, including a Gen-Z. And how that happened is another story that rests in their integrity. 

But I am being nostalgic. Life can be challenging.  There were difficult seasons. We tragically lost my brother to an automobile accident, we had a bout of cancer and other illnesses, and I suffered from a significant life-altering illness, among other hard times. But we rested in God’s promises that He would never leave or forsake us, and He has not!

So that was the being and doing of my life, which ultimately rendered so much overcoming joy and a huge part of my story. But if I were to peel all that away, who am I?

That would take me back to my 7-year-old self, standing alone in the rear pews of a sanctuary with old-fashioned, beautiful stained-glasses windows of blues, greens & yellows. After service one Sunday, that little girl watched those kneeling at the altar, including my parents, trying to understand what made people pray, why they were crying, and how they differed from me. I did not understand their tears. I soon dismissed my young concerns as something I would worry about when I “got big.”  However, that 7-year-old self could not shake that I desperately needed something. I just did not know what that something was.

Thereafter, cemented in my memory, was our family sitting in the second row at church one Sunday. I remember so vividly only because we usually sat in the back.  But being too late, all that remained was the front, only several feet away from the area that had mesmerized me weeks earlier.

I do not remember the service. I do not remember what was said. All I remember are tears streaming down my face while sitting there. I did not know why I was crying, only that I could not stop.

My dad looked over and whispered, “Why are you crying?”

“I do not know. I do not know,” I whispered helplessly through my tears.

He scooted over and quietly began speaking. Although I had not known why I was crying, by then, he knew. He soon led me in a prayer to accept Jesus Christ into my heart as my personal Savior. At that moment, my tears of sorrow turned to tears of joy. The weight on my heart lifted, and my spirit felt light and free. My joy and emotion that day were indescribable.

Beyond any doubt, that tear-filled day of sorrow, then joy, was my defining moment. The light I found on that day has guided my path and been the anchor to my soul all these years. I did nothing to earn it. I simply accepted His free gift offered to me.³

So, who am I?

Can I speak well? No.

Am I a great conversationalist? Not necessarily.

Am I the life of the party? Absolutely not.

Do I make a great first impression? Hardly.

Am I anything this world finds intriguing? I have not found that to be the case.

Then who am I really?

All I know is that I am an undeserved daughter of the King with all the rights and privileges He bestows.

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